A Hand To Hold
by UlquiFan4
Summary: "If Debbie would have actually d-died that night, would you still c-choose me?"  Warning: Contains SLASH, Darren/Evra a.k.a boyxboy rated T for Violence, might be changed to M later...
1. Troubling Question

First Cirque Du Freak fic! Darren/Evra needs more love :3 & the setting is right after the end of Tunnels Of Blood

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Darren's POV

"Ow! That hurts!" The Snake Boy hissed at me, and swatted my hand away, as I was trying bandage one of his wounds. He turned his back to me, and scooted towards the end of the bed.

"Evra, I'm sorry, I didn't mean too."

"..."

Evra's been shaken up ever since he got back from the city. He has been a nervous reck and freaks out when anyone touches him. Mr. Tall says that if Evra is still the same by the end of the week he won't let Evra perform. God, is this all my fault? I'm the one who got us mixed up in Mr. Crepsley's business. I got him seriously injured, and almost killed. I also lied about killing Debbi. I caused Evra to become like this, what kind of friend am I? He must hate me right now. I'm such an idiot. Every night I heard him cry in his sleep, how can any friend live with the guilt that they did that to him?

I shook the thoughts out of my head, and looked back at Evra. His scales had become terribly jagged and ripped, like when a fisherman descales a fish. I partly bandaged one arm, and I need to finish bandaging it, but it looks like Evra doesn't want me too. I scooted closer to him.

"Evra...? I have to finish bandaging your arm." He looked at me with glass eyes, and shook his head. I moved even closer to him, and looked right into his eyes, he looked like a small defenseless child. I bit my lip, and looked away so he wouldn't see me close to tears._ I have got to be the crappiest friend in the entire world. _I turned back and looked at him again.

"Evra...please" it took him a while but he slowly nodded and faced me so that I could finish bandaging his arm. "Thank you." I told him. I made sure to be as gentle as possible so I wouldn't hurt him, again. Suddenly I heard a mumble come from Evra, although I couldn't hear what he said. I leaned closer, so that I was almost inches away from his face. "What did you say?" I asked. Evra shook his head.

"Evra what's wrong? Did I hurt you again?"

"...No, it's j-just..."

"Just what?"

"Back there, w-when, when you made the deal to e-exchange D-Debbie for me..."

"What about it Evra?"

"W-would you?"

"Would I what?"

"If Debbie would have actually d-died that night, would you still c-choose me?"

I froze. Evra quickly jerked in the other direction, obviously ashamed of the question. But would I have chosen him? Would I have chosen Debbie? I stood up. I didn't know. I walked over to Evra and sat in front of him so he could see me. I knelt down in front of him, and slowly took one of his hands. I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say.

"Evra...I-"

"Darren, Cormac Limbs needs your help pitching one of the tents!" Mr. Crepsley yelled from outside our tent.

"Be right there!" I replied. I started to get up, but then I looked back at Evra. "I'll be back soon, okay?" I told him and ran out of the tent. But his question was still burned into my mind. Would I have chosen Evra?

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Evra's POV

I watched him leave. As soon as I could no longer hear his voice, I flopped onto the bed. "Why did I ask him that? I'm so stupid, of course he would have choose Debbi, even I would choose her over me. She's a normal girl, with friends and a family, and I-'m, I'm a snake-boy in a traveling circus." I said to myself. I felt a single tear run down my face.

But back there, when I didn't know Debbie would actually be saved, I was, almost, happy. Darren treasured me more than Debbie. At first I couldn't believe him, and I didn't know what to do, but when he left, and I was alone, I realized that he was willing to give up his first love, for me. Or so I thought, I thought I would be happy when Darren told me she was alive, but I had a nagging feeling at the back of my mind. A feeling that wished Debbi had actually died. I hated myself whenever I thought of it.

I've always liked Darren, more than he would ever know, but I could never tell him. Especially not now.

I covered my face with a pillow, and suddenly felt a sharp pain, I bit my lip. I looked down and one of my jagged scales on my leg got caught on the bed and was ripped off. I picked it up and looked at it, there was a tiny bit of blood on it. I flicked it onto the ground, where all the other dead scales were. I pulled one of my knees to chest and rested mt head on it, I closed my eyes, trying to find some peace. Then the tent door opened making me jump and fall off the bed, but I was caught before I hit the ground.

"Evra? Are you okay?" Darren asked me, holding me in an awkward position. My eyes were completely wide, I quickly scrambled out of his grasp and back onto the bed. I hid my face in the pillow so he wouldn't see the blush on my face.

After a minute or two I looked back up at him. He was sitting on the other side of the tent, he met my gaze, but I quickly turned away. I heard him sigh. He must think I am completely pathetic. I slowly sat up and averted his eyes, I didn't want to look into those eyes. Every time I do it's like he's looking into my soul, it's almost scary, yet calming at the same time, I can't explain it with just words. I heard him get up. He mumbled something I couldn't understand. Then I felt his arms around me. I froze, I couldn't move.

"Evra, I'm so, just so g-glad your alive, I'm glad your here with me. Your my best friend, and I promise I'll never let you get hurt again." Darren quickly said. I tried to move but he wouldn't let me go. He just stood there and held me, and for the first time in a week, I smiled.

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Should I finish? Please Review! Thank you!


	2. Disturbing Nightmare

Yay two chapters in one day! And wow I got reviews fast this time, I'm glad a few of you liked it :D! Second chapter, and this one made me have to change the rating I planned on it being, so WARNING this chapter has gore. *sniff* I love my Evra, my cute little snake boy. But I watched the Cirque Du Freak movie yesterday, Evra doesn't look how I imagined, not at all, makes me really angry :/ Oh well anyways enjoy the chapter and please review!

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Evra's POV

_I opened my eyes to see a jagged knife being sharpened, my eyes widened, at the sight of the thing holding it. I tried to move but I found myself bound. Out of my sheer fear I made a small whimpering noise. The man/thing quickly turned around to give me a grin filled with sadistic glee._

"_I see snakey's awake. Just in time too, I'm about to have a little fun with you~!" The Purple man cackled. _

_He walked towards me with the knifed and put it next to my right arm. He then used his other hand to hold my body to make sure I stayed still, I heard him make a disgustingly evil laugh I cringed at the sound of it. Suddenly I felt an excruciating pain unlike anything I have ever felt. My screams echoed through the dark room, but the man's horrible laughter was louder. I tried to move away from the knife but only got it stuck further into my arm, I screamed again as the man moved the knife in a upward motion. Blood was coming down my arm, but my tears where coming down harder. I looked at the pool of red developing on the floor with small scales floating in it. I begged him to stop, I pleaded, I screamed, but that only made him continue on my other arm, only with more force. How much more will I be put through this? _

_"PLEASE! PLEASE STOP THIS! IT HURTS! PLEASE!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs. The man jokingly covered one of his ears, and told me to quiet down. He then issued three hard punches to my bloody arms. I bit my lip so hard it began to bleed as well. I couldn't stop myself from crying, the pain was simply to much to bare._

_Suddenly the pain stopped, and the man got up, his grin was wider than before. "I think I've had my share of fun for now, I think I'll end this little show." He said kneeling close to me. "I need to save my strength to torture your half-vampire friend." _

_"No! Please! Leave him alone!" I shrieked. No. He can't hurt him, Darren...Darren's all I have now. Even if I die, Darren has to live...even If I die. Suddenly I felt a hard kick to the side of my face, the room started getting darker, I couldn't see straight. All I could see was the silver glint of the knife._

"_Nighty-night snakey"_

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I sprang out of bed screaming and crying, I was so frantic I almost hit my snake, luckily I was able to avoid the blow. Darren jumped out of the bed, turned a lantern on, and rushed over to me, trying to calm me down, but I was too afraid too. I started to hyperventilate, I couldn't breathe. Darren realized what happened and slapped me hard on my back, accidentally hitting one of my many gashes, out of pain I went into a horde of coughing. Darren put his hands on my shoulders, coaxing me to calm down. I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes.

"Are you okay" He asked sincerely. I swallowed and nodded with an odd jerking motion. He made a sigh of relief and sat down on the ground, he covered his face with his hand, he made a small whimper, I quickly look straight at him. Was he...crying?

"Dammit, it's all my fault, if I wasn't such a, such a stupid idiot this wouldn't be happening." He said through slightly muffled sobs. My mouth was open, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. "I should never have left you alone out there, I should have never suspected Mr. Crepsley in the first place, I could have protected you. Because of my damn stupidity you got hurt, hurt really bad. You could have died because of me! I could have-"

I wrapped my arms around his neck in an awkward, reassuring embrace. Darren didn't make a sound. I didn't make a sound. Our tent was dead silent. We stayed like this for what seemed like forever, even though it was only minutes before Mr. Crepsley and Mr. Tall showed up.

"What happened the whole camp heard a scream." Mr. Tall asked me. I quickly released Darren, and look at Mr. Tall.

"I h-had a nightmare is all, I'm sorry, I try to not let it happen again."

"You sure?"

I nodded. They stayed for a moment, hoping I would say something else, but both soon gave up and left. I heard Darren give a sigh of relief, I slowly turned my head in his direction. He was blushing, probably embarrassed that Mr. Crepsley saw him like that. I wanted to say something to him, but I had nothing to say. What would I say anyway? But Darren certainly had something to say.

"...What happened in you dream?"

I shuddered at the thought, I could still feel the cold knife against my skin. Could I tell him about it? No, I don't think I should, he just finished blaming himself for what happened to me. If I told him about my dream, it would just make him feel worse. just thinking about it makes my blood turn cold (Well, more than it already is). I'll tell him another time, right now I'm just tired. I laid myself back down onto the bed and tried to get comfortable. Darren was still staring at me with those eyes of his. I guess I can't avoid the question then.

"Can I tell you later? I-I'm kinda tired"

"What? Oh um fine, that's fine." He said looking at the floor. "But what if you have the same dream again?" He asked standing up.

"Well, what can I do about it?"

"I could- actually never mind" Darren said face turning slightly red.

"What?"

"Nothing, just another stupid idea."

"I want to hear it." I told him. I started to rub one of my wounded arms hoping to get some sympathy. It seemed to work.

"I just though that maybe...umm..maybe If you sleep in-in my bed, maybe you wouldn't have nightmares." Darren quickly turned his back to me. His ears were beat-red. Was I dreaming? Did he really say that? Could I really? I smiled and let out a small chuckle. Darren shoulders tensed.

"I know it was a stupid idea," -He said going back to his bed and laying down- "but you don't have to laugh at me. Geez, fine you'll just stay in your be-"

"No!" I said sitting up. Darren looked at me wide-eyed. I got out of bed and moved over to his. He awkwardly scooted over as far as he could. He obviously wasn't expecting me to agree to his proposition. I laid down next to him and closed my eyes. Darren tensed up and first but after a minute or two his body relaxed. But laying there with him made me realize how small these beds were until now, but his body was warm, it was actually really soothing. Would it be weird if I moved even closer to him? I think it would be. But I did it anyways. I opened one eye just to see his reaction, but Darren just starred out into space, looking at the top of our tent. I smiled a little to myself before I felt myself drifting back to sleep. Even though sleeping in his bed with him calmed me down, it was still one of the awkwardest moments of my life.

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I think I might be moving a little fast with the BL scenes :/ Oh well, it's like 3AM here, and I am tired. next chapter will hopefully be up really soon!


	3. Sudden Confession

ARGH I AM SOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! *bows in shame* I've already started the 4th chapter though so hopefully it will be up faster than this one. :(

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**Darren's POV**

I woke up this morning to something wet licking my cheek, I didn't mind it at first but now I was getting really annoyed with it. "Evra, stop licking me it's annoying." I told him. Wait- why would Evra be licking me? That's just weird, plus highly unlikely. I opened one eye. Evra was still fast asleep next to me. He looked like a cute little doll, as usual. So what's licking me? I turned my head around to see Evra's snake staring me right in the face. I yelled and jumped out of bed, making me and Evra fall on the floor. As soon and Evra hit the ground he immediately woke up in a fright, and started to panic. Luckily Evra quickly realized what happened and was able to get a hold of himself. Crap, did I do that too? Can I do anything right? I shook my head and looked back at the snake. "Stupid snake!" I hissed at it. The snake hissed back and moved to the other side of the tent.

Evra rubbed his head and looked at me sleepily, "She's not stupid, she's just wondering why her master's in a different bed then usual." He yawned. I rolled my eyes, and got up. I looked out of my tent, the sky was a brilliant shade of blue with a few fluffy white clouds dotting the sky. The stunning green hills and the yellow sunflower beds added to the beautiful landscape. There was a big mansion house on the top of one of the hills, it had white walls, and a maroon colored roof. The family that lives there must be completely loaded. I smiled to myself and quickly went back into the tent and put some clean clothes on.

"Evra you gotta come outside with me, it's amazing! The cirque really choose an awesome place to perform!" I said gleefully. Evra was just sitting there petting his snake, he didn't look like he wanted to come outside. I sighed. Well there's goes that plan. A few moments later Cormac Limbs came in. He seemed a little annoyed that he had to be in here but I ignored it.

"Mr. Tiny wants you and Evra to go get some food."

Well at least we have to go outside now. Evra grumbled and got up and started to get changed. I grinned to myself as I watched him. Is it weird that I did? Oh well, can't change it now. Well, Evra certainly did. He gave me a look that simply said 'Why the hell are you watching me?' Needless to say that I quickly averted my eyes. I looked down at my feet to see Evra's pet snake trying to climb up my leg. I mouthed 'don't even think about it' to the snake. It seemed to get the message and started moving towards the other side of the tent.

"Well, aren't you coming?"

I looked back at Evra and he was already outside of the tent. I jumped up, and caught up with him. As soon as Evra saw the landscape his eyes lit up. I let out a terribly girly giggle. Evra heard me and he stared at me for a couple of seconds before bursting into laughter after seeing how red my face got. Even though I was embarrassed it was nice to hear him laugh, it was the first time in a couple of weeks.

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We looked for about an hour, nothing. Geez, looks like Mr. Tiny and the Little People will be hungry. I looked around trying to find Evra. It took a couple of minutes but I found him lying against a tree taking a nap. I smiled as started walking towards him, when I noticed three figures were already there. All three were boys, about my age, one was tall and lanky with dark brown hair and acne covering his whole face. The second was my height but much, well, heavier than I was. The third was average height and had bleach blonde hair. I started running towards Evra hoping to stop any problems before they start.

"Haha! Look at this freak! What a weirdo!"

"Aww, man that's disgusting! He looks like a freaking snake!"

Too late. The boys were already ganging up on him. Although it wasn't bothering Evra as much as I thought it would. He was standing his ground, he obviously wasn't in the mood. I guess he has dealt with it alot so I guess it makes sense how it wouldn't bug him. But it still pissed me off, I got to them a second later, although I would've been there by now if I had used my half-vampire speed but now is not the time to draw attention to myself. I put my hand on the chubby one's shoulder and pushed him out of the way.

"What the hell are you doing, man?" he yelled at me. They quickly surrounded me and Evra. I backed up a little. I didn't want to start a fight. I knew they wouldn't stand a chance against me, but I was afraid I would go to far.

"You're making fun of a friend of mine!"

"He's your friend? He's a ugly freak!"

"No he's not! He's- He's just different. So back off!"

The tall blonde, walked towards me, he was trying to look tough, but he was failing at it. He jabbed my shoulder, and said with a frown "You don't order my friends around you stupid little punk."

He shoved me back a few steps. I looked behind me to make sure I didn't step on Evra. But he wasn't sitting on the grass anymore. Evra was standing right next to me. His eyes didn't look scared anymore, his eyes were burning with anger. "Don't touch him." he said moving in front of me. I just stood dumbfounded. He was angrier than I've ever seen him before.

"Oh look, the snake-boy wants to start a fight! What your all made cause I 'shoved' your 'boyfriend'?" He sneered, his friends laughed behind him.

Suddenly a scaly, green fist connected with the blonde's face, he fell flat onto his back. Evra suddenly realizing what he was done, lowered his fists and began to back up. I was still stunned my mouth was wide open. Evra quickly turned around, his eyes were wide with astonishment, he grabbed my wrist and ran for it. The boys quickly picked their 'leader' up and chased after us. I decided that now would be the time to use my half-vampire speed to escape. I told Evra to jump on my back, so I could outrun them. Obviously I wasn't Mr. Crespley so I didn't lose them at first, plus with Evra's added weight I couldn't go as fast as I could. But five minutes later they were nowhere in sight. I told Evra it was ok the get off. He immediately jumped off.

"What was that? You just punched him in the face! I mean, I'm not mad at you or anything, he deserved it but why? I didn't think you where the type of guy to do that." I said astonished. I still couldn't believe that he hit him. I think I was over-reacting but I was awe-struck by him.

"I...He..." Evra mumbled fidgeting with his hands. "He shoved you, so I...umm" He was blushing terribly, it made him look very cute. Wait- did I just think he was cute? Do I like him...like...like-like him? I thought about it for a moment, Evra was speaking in a quiet tone but I wasn't listening. I like Evra?

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_I love Evra._

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I interrupted Evra in the middle of his sentence with a quick, chaste kiss. Evra made no reaction, he was completely dumbstruck. Crap, I shouldn't have done that. I don't even know if he likes me the same way. I felt my face and ears getting hot. I'm such an idiot. Suddenly Evra moved forward and returned my kiss, wraping his arms around me in a tight embrace. I wrapped my arms around his waist trying not to break the kiss. Evra tried to move but lost his balanced causing us both to fall to the ground. The grass was soft and cushioned out fall. I climbed on top of Evra and kissed him with much more force, I licked the inside of him mouth, earning a low moan. We stared into each other's eyes.

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"I love you Evra."

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Sorry I'm not planning on making this one hardcore :/ and once again, I am sorry for my horrible lateness.


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